Why you need a doula

written April 22, 2025 | updated April 22, 2025

I kinda thought doulas were for people from eastern cultures or maybe rich people who like attention. Actually, doulas fill some serious gaps in birth care. Here are my learnings from before our first birth.

For most electrical work, I prefer to figure it out myself and save a bunch of money, rather than hire an electrician. (Yes, I try and read the relevant codes.) But we decided our first birth was a time worth avoiding DIY disasters.

1. They're your advocate

Doctors and nurses are nice, but they're unavoidably incentivized to move quickly and to recommend expensive medications and procedures. Especially when you prepare a plan beforehand, the doula can help defend you from unwarranted suggestions from medical staff and to advocate when changes are legitimately needed. This allows you and your partner to focus on labor.

2. They know stuff

And, in fact, there's a lot to know about birth. If you need legal counsel, you hire a lawyer. If you need to design a building, you hire an architect. If you are giving birth, you hire a doula.

Having someone who's delivered scores of babies and is passionate about improving your birth experience makes a lot of sense to me now. Get a nerd on your side.

3. You(r partner) might actually listen to them

In addition to advocacy and wisdom, a doula generally becomes a trusted (yet reasonably neutral) advisor. Women in labor are not known for being the most easily persuaded, but a doula can provide authoritative (and generally even correct) guidance. Even if you do some heavy studying up on birth, it's going to be easier to hear suggestions from a doula, and they'll likely be better at delivering instructions.

Conclusion

Maybe you're a birth aficionado and you don't need a doula. Nurses and midwives can provide excellent care. And shoot, doulas are expensive! But still, maybe give it another thought.

TBD: whether we will feel the same way post-partum!